I take great pride in the act of gift-giving. Only after heavy contemplation do I truly feel comfortable in choosing
a physical object that should closely and clearly represent the highly abstract bond that I share with the recipient.
When my sister told me of her wedding engagement, I was initially nervous. Had she truly found the person with
whom she could develop a nurturing, rewarding, life-long relationship? After listening to her and feeling the
positive aura that she emitted, I was convinced. Being my sister, I also especially hoped her the best.
So now, what gift could fulfill my standards for such a prominent person and such an outstanding occasion?

My Only Desire is what I created to meet my expectations. I imagined no better gift than a unique adaptation of her
favorite artwork made from a toy that I remember sharing during our childhood. The original piece is from the
masterwork 15th century French tapestry series La Dame à la Licorne (The Lady and the Unicorn) which hangs
at le Musée de Cluny in Paris. The series is comprised of six total works each regarded as representing
the five basic senses as well as the sense of love. A Mon Seul Désire (To My Only Desire) is the work that
represents this sixth sense, depicting a woman either accepting or returning jewels underneath a tent that bears
the title phrase. The gift would be unexpected but I imagined it would be genuinely embraced. It also would
encompass our heartfelt sibling relationship but represent her discovery of devotion too.

Unexpectedly, very early in its creation, the engagement was called off and the work was no longer fit to become a
gift embodying this positive slant. The concept completely shifted. The celebratory act of creation became
therapeutic. A physical repetitive mantra of quiet, private, patient peg placement allowed me to brave my own
feelings of guilt, remorse, and regret that have accompanied me throughout my childhood into my adult life.
These negative emotions that we place upon ourselves when coping with as complicated a task as understanding one's
value in another person's life can be horribly debilitating. I don't wish them upon anyone. But I believe they
hold great value in one's understanding and pursuit of true love. Having your heart broken is a valuable and necessary evil.

When you give someone a gift you give them part of yourself and when you lose someone you lose part of yourself.
One of my only desires is to pursue faithful and honest relations with an understanding that the level
of joy and suffering will be reflexive to the intensity of the risks that I take. Falling in love is a risk I believe will
always be worth losing yourself over.

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